Monday, January 28, 2008

Caffeine and miscarriage--the ONION

From The Onion:

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Caffeine Increases Miscarriage Chances

A new study by Kaiser Permanente Research Division in Oakland, CA says that the caffeine in two cups of coffee per day can double the chances of an expectant mother miscarrying. What do you think?

Old Man

Marc Burns,
Car Rental Agent
"Coffee's for saps. You really want to miscarry, you go drink yourself some bleach."

Young Woman

Yvone Riley,
Tech Support
"Falling down stairs and now this? Where is a pregnant woman expected to find any joy?"

Asian Man

Karl Pawlett,
Dry Cleaner
"Okay, but those expectant mothers were also playing really violent video games on a somewhat regular basis. So, let's not just blame the caffeine."